June 2023- Break

These pictures was from a trip in this past June to California, Oregon, and Washington. Never really posted anything about this trip. It’s where I had a break up one my last night of the trip.

I guess I never fully processed the last moments I was with my ex.

On the way to the Portland airport. Told her I've uploaded all the pictures from the trip to the album. And then once we get there, told her to be really careful on the drive back to Phoenix. She just said okay. I was already like tearing up. I got out and open the door in the back to get my luggage. Her kids and nephew are watching me silently, I choked up "later guys". I close the door and walk away.

Who knows how many people saw walking in the airport looking like the biggest wreck. I called my mom to see if she could pick me up when I get to PHX. Held back so much not to break down on the phone. And when my parents picked me up, I broke down immediately in the car. It was too much. But I'm glad I was with my parents.

I don’t know what exactly triggered all this on a random morning. Maybe it was the cold weather and cloudy day, it just really brought me in my feelings. And I feel like I really got it out.

I did not talk to my therapist about this but applied the learnings/trainings during past sessions. It is not unreasonable for me to still be thinking about something that happened months ago. And being able to identify the situation and solutions is why talking with a therapist is important. It's a two way stream, most of the time you do know the answers but might not know how to apply them.